My daughter's birthday party was mostly adults, and the subject of the recaptured childhood pictures now as adults came up. We all find them funny, and so the picture of me as an infant in the tub passed into the conversation. This was a picture that killed me when I was younger as all I could see was the chubby leg rings and baby pot belly. I nicknamed the picture "Sumo Sid". Of course, I had little to no exposure to infants and had no idea that this was normal, and now as a mother I know that these are actually quite loved infant traits. I can now understand why my own mother liked the picture.
Now enter the joke. What if I redid that picture?? Ya know, now that I have fat rolls and a belly, and bald to boot! We all had a good laugh, and having recently decided to do things that take a little bit of guts, I thought, "Why not??" I can get into the tub, have my husband take the shot, edit it so not too explicit, and shoot it out to the world wide web. It would certainly be a laugh.
But then I thought, no. I am not going to give the fat haters fodder. I am the first to have a good laugh at myself, but why should I allow strangers slam an obese lady? People saying how I should cover up, never have shown such a pic of myself....and saying it with disgust? Ya, I don't think so.
Instead, I post this picture (with the original Sumo Sid pic that inspired this) with pride in who I am. I can't say I am happy to be fat. But I accept it. It is who I am. I wasn't always like this, so I've been on both sides of the scale as an adult. If given the option to be thin and wear fashionable clothing found right off the rack, or how things are now in my life, I'd chose what I already have. I am no different than 60% of adult women in the US. So why the hell are we shaming this?
So let me get the obvious out of the way. Yup, I know I barely fit in an average size tub. The only pixelating I needed to do was of my nipples, which hang pointing down from my pendulous breasts. My gut hides any genital area that would need pixelating on a thin woman. My legs are full of cellulite. Ironically, my butt isn't, but I do have what I have affectionately named "my buffalo humps" just atop the back of my hips. Oh, and to top it off, I am bald! Yes, I shaved my head. For charity, but let me tell you, having a buzz cut is so freeing!
I am sure fat shamers will find way more negative about this than I just outlined. Go ahead. Because it says way more about you to start judging the way I look than about me.
What this pic doesn't show is that I am worth way more than the flesh and fluff that society judges me by. I am an awesome mother. I am a great wife, but not easy to be married to because I rarely let things slide. I am creative, well educated, intelligent, and loyal. If you are my family or my good friend, I will always be on your side (as long as it's the right side, haha!). I have an extremely sarcastic sense of humor. I enjoy intellectual political debate. I try to be giving, as much as I can. I enjoy being social, but love alone time as well. I am happy and proud of what I have become as an adult.
Yes, of course I wish I didn't need to wear a plus size, or at least be a plus size that didn't start with a "2". But, I have a lot of good things that make me me. So, I say screw it. I am who I am, and I am not ashamed.
Please share with those who want to help spread the word that fat does not mean you are worthless!
