Monday, August 5, 2013

Underwires, You Suck

These suckers are bigger than my head! *Mustache added for comic effect. It's not real. Seriously.

Another thing I hate?  Underwire bras. 

Even when I was thin, I wasn't crazy about them, but when you wear an "average" size (I was previously floating between a 34B-36C in my thin days) the actual underwire is proportionate to your rib cage and breast size.

Now, in a 40DDD or 40H/F (depending on the brand), an underwire is a torture device that is literally larger than my head.  The makers of these torture devices are under the false notion that when you gain weight OR wear a larger size, your rib cage must be equally large. 

Let me tell you: when you gain weight, your bones don't grow.  Sure, all of my circumference measurements grew with my weight gain.  But let me repeat: MY BONES DID NOT.  My breasts may have grown to be as big as my head, but they still are attached to a rib cage that didn't enlarge in itself.  I gained some padding around my back, hence the increase to a size 40 band size.  But really, if you lay out the underwires in a plus size bra, they are much too wide.

So, these wires will poke and dig.  The dig down in my chest and poke my underarms continuously.  They will literally rub my skin raw if I have to wear them longer than 5 minutes.

Recently I bought a casual bathing suit, and I had no choice but to buy a top with those damn wires.  I wore the top with the wires in it a few times and looked like a fool fussing with it.  The top fit perfectly fine, but those damn wires were ruining everything. 

It dawned on my after a few torture sessions in the pool that I could take my snips and carefully remove them!  And, let me tell you!  What a freaking relief!

This opens up a whole new world of bras for me!  I haven't yet bought an underwire bra yet, but when I find one I like, and fits with the exception of the wire, I now know that I can just snip that damn thing out, and enjoy a nice bra.

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